Feb 1, 2012

Haywire - wait for the DVD.

Right, first of all, I'm a huge fan of Gina Carano and the MMA, obviously. I had even defended her honor wholeheartedly after that steroid munching shemale of a fighter Cyborg nearly pummeled her to death. However, Gina, honey, you really should spend more time in the ring rather than behind a camera lens. It really does not suit you and your incapability to show on-screen emotion doesn't help either.

Other than that, I wish I could say that the movie was good. It was not. All it had was the cast... not actually great per se, but charming. Yeah, I think I'll go with charming. Also, I choose to restrain myself from going into separate descriptions of actors and their contribution to this movie, like I usually do, and all I'm gonna say is: Ewan did not need this and Antonio still has that sexy accent. And those are untenable facts.

Now, the story should have been an action packed thriller, but it turned out as an extremely soft porn MMA parody with guns. And what it lacked in between was just filled with, you've guessed it, more eye candy in the form of Gina. Apart from the great triangle locks, as well as arm and leg locks, even the fight sequences were dreadful. It resembled those 80's low-budget action movies where one actor waits for the other one to hit him and vice versa. So, horrible all around.

And I can't even write about it anymore. All I'm gonna say to finally and fully summarize the feeling I had while watching this is "that terrible feeling of waiting for something to happen in a movie... and it never does".

5 out of 10.