There is a fact generally repeated and enforced by numerous evidence that states that whatever Ron Howard touches turns into shit. His upcoming adaptation of The Dark Tower has me in hysterical attacts for weeks now and because of my inability to throw away the last hope that it may not be so, I've decided to watch The Dilemma thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could give it a 5, call it mediocre and let myself think that Howard actually learnt something.It was a nice dream, while it lasted - full 10 minutes of it.
It would be unfair to blame it all on Howard, afterall, he's just a director in charge or choosing the script, people he works with, casting the roles, picking the music, letting the leads improvise, giving Winona Ryder another shot, allowing Vince Vaughn and Keving James (especially the later) to insult us with their presence....oh, wait.....I am absolutely putting it all on Howard. You fucking prick.
Or, as Cartman would put it, people "who have Gingervitis cannot be cured." Should have known.*
Anyways, whatever the hell this movie should be about (infidelity, loyalty, bromance, love, family, cars), it does not succeed on any level. It's not even stupid, it's just boring. Two overweight guys having arguably hot girlfriends - riiiiiiiight. Also, here's a suggestion: physical comedy is out. Stick to the written word. Oh, yeah, THERE IS NOT A LINE IN THIS MOVIE THAT IS FUNNY. Not one fucking word! Nada. Just a vacuum of nothingness.
2 out of 10.
*Ron Howard used to be ginger (back when he had hair).
