Dear Sofia,
Let me start by saying how sorry I am for what I’m about to say. I never thought this would happen, but it’s got to a point now where things have gone beyond stale and I think we both know this letter was inevitable. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried my best, and I agree that things used to be great - I still remember vividly those pastel summer days, back in suburban America, when we would frolic about listening to Air.
Despite that horrible incident with those sisters across the way, everything seemed beautiful back then and there was a promising feeling to our budding relationship. It didn’t matter who your dad was, or that your cousin Nic was such an outrageous pain in the ass, because love can sometimes blind you of all these petty things.
I know you’ve tried to rekindle the magic and I appreciate that. Yet this recent attempt to re-ignite the passion we once had has left me so cold that I can’t remember how to feel that way for you anymore. Taking us on another Hotel getaway to recreate that glorious time in Japan (albeit in the slightly less sumptuous setting of Los Angeles) all seems like too little too late. Yes it was beautiful, and I did enjoy listening to Phoenix on the way there with you, but overall it lacked the little moments of laughter we had all those years ago, it felt sterile and void of any of the heightened emotions we once had. Even the choreographed pole dancers you introduced to our relationship couldn’t spark the dwindling passion that we use to revel in.
I forgave you for your odd fascination with French period furniture and clothing, I understand that this was an attempt to appeal to the Francophile in me, but my love of French cinema only extends to the new wave and works of Georges Franju, not the opulence of the French renaissance.
However this last holiday has opened my eyes to the fact that I was wrong to assume you were the one for me. Things have become boring and all too predictable far too quickly and because of this I’m afraid we can’t see each other anymore.
I’m Sorry
Your former admirer
Patrick
4 out of 10
