So, what I'll do here is division into three tiers: Super, Mediocre and 'Gimme back my money'. Why? Cuz I can. And, as would fate or the universe's unique sense of equality in distribution or some shit would have, there are two movies in each tier. And here goes:
SUPER TIER
Presenting The Hunter and Headhunters (Hodejegerne). Both with amazing premises, but quite different storytelling, feel and sense of atmosphere.
The first one, while presenting itself with a great premise of tracking down the last specimen of the Tasmanian Tiger, has a secret agenda not apparent for about half of the film when it finally peeks its ugly head to leave you with a sense of anger and disbelief. But, a good kind of anger, projected towards the antagonists. I really can't say more in fear of revealing a portion of the story, but what I can say is that the film is extemely atmosphere driven. And if all that wasn't sufficient, it also stars Willem Dafoe and Sam Neill. You should now be well interested.
The second one is a Norwegian film and, in my experience, those tend to be... mildly put, fucking superb. It tells a tale of corporate business, a genius art heister, extravagant lifestyle and most dominantly the art of headhunting, and oppositely - evasion and deception. Needless to say, there were quite a few scenes that made my heart stop and made me grip the edge of my seat in ave. And the acting, well that's a fucking entity by itself. No comment is necessary there. Now, the story is quite complex to break down into a simple yet teasing explanation, but I guess that's what makes a great thriller, right?
MEDIOCRE TIER
Moving down the ladder, but only by a few steps, we have Hugo and The Adventures of Tintin. Both great in their own way, but also in the 'one shot, one kill' range, as I like to call them. In translation, no reprisal watching necessary.
The first one is of course a Martin Scorsese film, so you've probably already heard about it. Unless you're living under a rock, in a cave, submerged into mud or some shit. And although it has an amazing cast comprising of fucking Sir Ben Kingsley, the great Christopher Lee, the frightening Ray Winstone, the always present latently gay Jude Law and /b/'s number one sweetheart Chloe Grace Moretz - it somehow failed to surpass its own surreal artsie-fartsie nature. Somewhat interesting story, but a children's film nevertheless.
The second one, on the other hand, is Spielberg's child and as such is destined for greatness even before it goes into production. And, in all honesty, while it probably is his weakest film, it was extremely fun to watch and that most definitely was the goal he was trying to achieve, not to mention that beautiful animation and rendering. So, in the end, Spielberg always delivers. Not much writing material here explanation-wise apart from previously said, the title of the film says it all. Unless you don't know who Tintin is... In that case, I'm surprised you can even read, really.
'GIMME BACK MY MONEY' TIER
Finally, the shit bucket. Time to unwind a bit, throw away the positive adjectives and move on to profanities. We give you The Grey and Underworld: Awakening.
The first one made me look like a complete jackass by completely catching me off-guard and having me believe that it was an adrenaline filled "kill or be killed" movie. I mean, it's Liam Neeson for fuck's sake. Imagine this: suggest film to friends, watch it together, film sucks ass, look like a retard. Yeah, happened right here. One friend even fell asleep. So, yeah. But, enough of my ranting, not everybody likes those, so I'll give you an exclusive peek at the script: "Plane crashes over Alaska, lets have a wife flashback. It's cold as fuck, wife flashback. My god, this is wolf country, how 'bout a wife flashback? We're getting eaten one by one, a few wife flashbacks wouldn't hurt. Liam's gonna fuck those wolves by himself! Oh, wait, no... Wife flashback." You're welcome.
And the second one is the fucking definition of the word 'abomination'. It's just another one of Hollywood's greedy fucking films with the latest way of doing it. Take some older storyline, write a new shitty fucking story at best and add some flair. What would that flair be? How about 3D? *GASP* THAT'S BRILLIANT! Not even Kate in tight leather could save this one. Also, fuck you vamps. Lycans still own.
So, that was my monster post. Hope you enjoyed it.
tl;dr
The Hunter, Headhunters - good.
Hugo, The Adventures of Tintin - not bad.
The Grey, Underworld: Awakening - fuck that shit.
Also, profanity is the new sexy.
